I helped to move Dopple-G this weekend. He (fortunately) wasn't in the immediate area to hear most some of these:
Oh! That was unfortunate.Did you just hit the wall with that truck?
No.
[crunch]
How about now?A little masking tape and that hutch will be as good as new.
[At a stop light a black Denali (that's a big-ass SUV, in case you're not familiar) with oversized racing tires drove past.]
You've really got to feel sorry for a guy with a penis that small.That dresser will go in the bedroom.
Really? Thanks, Galileo.So that's what 'fragile' means.
What the hell is on that mattress?
I don't know, but it sure is salty.It'll fit, just deflate it a bit more.
What are you doing in there?
Christening the new bathroom.
Christening?
You're right - it's more of a baptism.You're drinking beer?
Hell, it's twelve o'clock somewhere.
I think the phrase is "it's five o'clock somewhere".
Shit. It's five o'clock somewhere too.
Good times.
Hey! I read this too...
Dammit... I _knew_ that hutch didn't break itself.
I thought the phrase was it's noon somewhere... dammit, now I'm going to have to take a long healthy look at my drinking habbits.
Let's not continue this long chain of self-deception and just admit that we are not going to take any long looks at drinking habits, healthy or otherwise.
Frankly, I think that the healthiest approach and it's practically the same thing as admitting you have a problem, which is the first step to... something good. And good things deserve a toast. Cheers!
I'll have another drink to that.
Is there any joy greater than out-of-context quotes?
I think not :-)
that last one had me out loud. wooo. sounds like me sometimes.