Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
May 10, 2005
Every word means 'nads'!
(Category: Snooze Button Dreams )

I just figured this out and it is so cool I had to share it with all of you. Every word really does mean 'nads'. Just put it in the right context and BLAMMO, it's nads. Here's an example:

He missed the line drive and the ball smacked him right in the wall socket.

Now 'wall socket' doesn't ordinarily mean 'nads', right? Well, not in your everyday conversation anyway. But just by creating the imagery of a guy getting a line drive in the groin we've made a normally placid and harmless word mean 'nads'. Isn't that great?

Here's another one:

Never drive naked. Bob did that last Tuesday and got his block and tackle stuck to the seat.

Hee hee hee. I feel so naughty. I'll never think of pulleys the same way again.

Hey, wouldn't 'pulleys' be a good euphemism for wanking off? Just thought of that.

Sorry. Got sidetracked. Back to the nads. This is just the coolest thing. I'll be doing this for hours.

Go ahead. Try it for yourselves.

Posted by Jim | Permalink
Comments

After the match, Kevin told reporters he would no longer be running the high hurdle events; it seems today's fall has severely bruised his meatball sandwich.

Posted by: Paul at May 10, 2005 12:20 PM

Why'd i make sure to have her home early? It mighta been her dad pointing the 12 ga. at my towelrack.

Posted by: tommy at May 10, 2005 12:59 PM

It doesn't work for all words:

In self defense class, students are usually instructed to stop a male aggressor by kicking or punching him in the tampon.

However, some great ones I ran across were: hush puppies, tomtoms, hashbrowns, bacon bits, or even swizzle stick. Usage is also improved if the term is prefaced with 'the old', as in 'the old bacon bits.'

Posted by: shank at May 10, 2005 01:19 PM

You have to watch out for the gender of your nouns, shank. Change 'tampon' (female) to 'manpon' (male) and it works.

Posted by: Jim at May 10, 2005 01:35 PM

I kicked him in the 'coffee cup' for coming up with such an assine idea. Hmmm. It does seem to work.

Posted by: vw bug at May 10, 2005 01:38 PM

Lots of words work for "ass" too, as in, "Hey, pull your head out of your Harvey!"

Posted by: Victor at May 10, 2005 01:48 PM

Speaking of towelracks ... Detroit Tiger last week got hit in the towelrack and wasn't wearing a cup.

Guess he was down for quite a long time all the while every other man in the seats and benches were seen holding their cups.

This player now wears a cup.

Posted by: Machelle at May 10, 2005 01:52 PM

Manpon isn't aesthetically pleasing.

There's something weirdly "Moby Dick" about that (and yes, I understand the pun opportunities).

Of course, I had thought upon seeing "manpon" that perhaps you meant "butt plug", but when I put that into Shank's sentence then it gave a different connotation altogether.

So yeah. Jim's gay.

Posted by: Helen at May 10, 2005 01:53 PM

Gayer than Trey, who still hasn't been indexed by Spidergay. Hehe.

Posted by: Jim at May 10, 2005 01:57 PM

"Manpon" HeeHeeHee I can't wait to use that one around the water cooler

Posted by: Frick at May 10, 2005 10:04 PM

It's not friday, is it??? ;-)

Posted by: Pam at May 11, 2005 01:02 AM
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