In a couple of weeks we'll be traveling to Spokane. I'm going to basically be on blog-hiatus for eight days. The Snooze gets bitchy and moody if I ignore it for more than a weekend so it is imperative that I find a couple of blogsitters. If you are interested in putting up some content while I'm off gallivanting just submit the following application* in the comments:
1. Name: _____________________2. Sex: _____________________
3. Age: _____________________
4. Favorite Color: _____________________
5. Superpower(s): _____________________
6. Are you able to resist the inexorable pull of a comment party? (Yes/No)
7. Have you ever been convicted of a crime you did not commit? (Yes/No)
8. Who framed you? _____________________
9. Was your revenge classically Machiavellian or of the exploding gas tank variety? _____________________
10. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? (No/Hell No)
11. Benifer? _____________________
12. Complete this sentence: My dog has unusually low _____________________.
13. Pervert!
14. Can you be trusted to guest post on Snooze Button Dreams without making a bugger-all mess of things? (Yes/No)
15. No, really? (Yes/No)
16. What do you want to be when you grow up? _____________________
17. As a guest poster, what sort of things would you be posting? _____________________
18. Pervert!
19. List three hobbies: _____________________, _____________________, _____________________
20. No comment.
21. Essay question. Please do not open your booklets until instructed to do so. In 500 words or less describe why you want to be a guest poster at SBD, why you deserve to be a guest poster at SBD, and a workable energy plan that is not dependent upon foreign natural resources. Begin.
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Applications will be accepted through the end of the week.
* Snooze Button Dreams is an equal opportunity destroyer. All rights reserved. Side effects were found to be similar to placebo and may include sleeplessness, raging libido, sexual dysfunction, incontinence, weigh gain, weight loss and/or anal leakage. Your results may vary.
Jim,
I grew up in Spokane. You have my sympathies :)
1. Diamond Dave (you know my real name)
2. Last weekend
3. 36
4. Blue
5. FartBlast
6. Yes
7. Not yet (but almost)
8. Lawrenceville PD
9. Machiavellian (but I really prefer Klingon)
10. OK, but you asked for it
11. Whadafuk?
12. hanging tongue
13. Thank you!
14. Well, I could tryyyy......
15. If I had to.
16. I'm tired of growing up. I want to go back to kindergarten.
17. Musings about life and death and everything in between.
18. Jealous, are you?
19. Tae kwon do, netsurfing, sex.
20. You asked.
21. Actually this looked like a good questionnaire, so I commented. I sometimes think up something good, but not on a regular basis (which is why I don't have my own blog). I don't need any more responsibility, so you don't have to choose me. Seriously. I'm happy with the occasional Snoozebob post. As far as energy sources, let's fuel power plants by incinerating garbage. We'll never run out of that.
1. Denise
2. As often as I can get it.
3. Never ask a woman her age! But if you really want to know .... OLD!
4. Blue
5. None that i know of, unless you consider multiple personalities a super power.
6. No
7. NO.
8. If it happens, I am sure that it would be Harvey.
9. Hasn't happened yet.
10. HELL NO.
11. Who cares.
12. hanging testicles
13. Sorry.
14. Not really. :)
15. Yes.
16. I don't wanna grow up. I wanna be a Toys R Us kid.
17. No clue.
18. Not really.
19. Sex, reading, playing BHD.
20. That bad, huh?
21. Trick question. You didn't say open your booklet. :)
Hey! Spo-caine ain't all THAT bad. ;o)
As for your applications -- I dunno about guest-posting, but I think we got ourselves a love connection here.
Denise, meet Dave. Dave, Denise.
It could be a cute first date type post.
[Forgetitall if you're already married n' shit. I ain't no homewrecker.]
You're right, it does kinda look like a first-date post.
I am married, however.
LOL ..... Hi Dave. Hi Margi! By the way, I am married too!
Yikes. Now this is starting to sound like a swingers board...
Nothing wrong with that!
Hmm..... looks like you got only two biters Jim! LOL Maybe it was the length of the application?! Or, that no one feels they could live up to your story telling abilities? *tilting head*
1) Rob
2) Male
3) Younger than dirt, older than your kids.
4) Green. As in the lovely color o' cash.
5) Tantric Sex. Except when someone else is in the room.
6) Nope. I'm a compulsive commenter- Failed comment rehab twice.
7) Why, yes. Yes I have.
8) No one. I was feeling needy and wanted the attention.
9) I inflicted myself upon the general public. 'Nuff said.
10) Pfft. Please.
11) Who cares. I have enough imaginary friends to have an imaginary life. Don't need no steenking bennifer.
12) Levels of sodium and nitrates. Maybe that's why he licks himself.
13) *bows*
14) Nope. But you can fix it.
15) Maybe. I am a geek after all.
16) Hugh Heffner, circa 1980's.
17) Inane observations, pithy quotes and quips.
18) That's twice- I'm getting good at this, no?
19) I have no "hobbies". I have "part-time obsession disorder". Hobbies are for bingo-addicted Grandmas and basement dwelling gamerz. I am a wild-eyed pamphleteer, a picker and a grinner and a total dork.
20) No instructions to open said (and nonexistent) booklets were given as of yet. I will wait, imperiously tapping my foot.
Still waiting.
Fine.
I'm leaving.
Who needs your dumb booklet.
It's probably pictures of you and that cow.
(BTW, the cow called. She says you never write, you never call, and she wants to know about this rash she has.)
Hah! Take that, Denise!
Application out of pity? LOL HA! Take that Jimbo! LOL
Oops, read this post too fast for the brain to entirely catch and thought you were on hiatus NOW.
Mea buggery culpa.
However, then, you have no excuse to take up the challenge I tossed at you in my last post.
Neener.