April 26, 2005
Gwinnett County
Board of Assessors
75 Langley Drive
Lawrenceville, GA 30045
Re: Appeal of Gwinnett County Board of Assessors Property Reassessment
Dear Sir or Madam:
I received a "Notice to Taxpayer" regarding the appraised value of my home. This notice shows that you have reappraised my home at [$Governor's Mansion] compared to the prior year value of [$Single Family Ranch]. While I would certainly love to have a home that raises in value this quickly my unfortunate reality is that my home has not increased in value by 16% since the time I purchased it less than a year ago.
If an actual inspection to assess my property were to reveal this startling increase in value I would be more than happy to sell it and realize a tidy return on my one year investment. Judging by the house on the next lot that has remained unsold for over two years as well as the frequent utility outages in the neighborhood I fear that my dreams of a quick profit are for naught.
Please accept this letter as my official appeal of the County assessed value of my property. I apologize for any irregularity in my missive but the phone number provided in the Notice has been constantly busy since I first received it so I have been unable to verify exactly what is needed in this letter. Perhaps other taxpayers are taking exception to their own reassessed values?
Sincerely,
James R Peacock
I have your street address. I see your future, and it holds random objects shipped to your home.
Merry Christmas.
No body parts, please.
Being the polite sport I am I should point out that the address up there is for the Board of Assessors, not my house. Depending on how this assessment thing turns out I might be sending them some random objects as well.
Dallas is infamous for doing this (as are, I think, most major metropolitan areas in Texas), but in our case we can blame the absence of state income tax for it.
Good luck appealing it. (I mean that sincerely, not sarcastically.)
You want to know how they did it??Some asshole in a run down,rusty pimp car was driving one day through here,so slow,we put the kids inside because we thought it was some kid snatcher.We even locked the doors for a while after we noticed he was taking pictures of every property(from the rolled down car window).Someone called the cops to run the license plate and guess what?COunty tax appraiser!WTF!
THAT alone just made the property go down in value by AT LEAST 100,000!
Assholes......
You know what you've got here?
An excuse to dump tea in the harbor.
We'll have to settle for dumping Coke in the Chattanooga River.
I could totally mail you a shit ton of tea. That stuff is light, so the freight costs will be minimal. I bet it's cheap too, if I go get the wally world brand. This is going to be awesome. You're gonna be recieving random stuff from me for the remainder of the time you live at that address.
Doh! I finally see what you're talking about. I remembered to take the address out of the header and forgot to take it out of the letter.
Ah, well. It's not like people couldn't find it in the phone book anyway.
Uh Jim.......we are unlisted......you just exposed us BIG TIME!
Yeah, Jim... you're such an exposer!
I know where you live. I won't send you anything in the mail, though, since it's faster to just drive over there.
Hey, Jim, you live here!
(I remembered to get rid of the address...)
Wrong house....thats accross from us.Thats L.'s house.......our little neighborhood slave.:-)
A couple of random comments:
1) I prefer the Chattahoochee. If we're going to schedule a revolution can we please do it in a convenient location with a picnic area?
2) I don't think trading one tax (property) for another (income) is really an effective identification of the source of the problem. I'm a radical, though.
3) If your readers are from far away, maybe they could send you a dragon. I will help you dig a moat if they do! How cool would that be!?!
A dragon would be just totally cool. Would we have to feed it virgins though? Those are a little scarce in the Atlanta area.
Maybe you could train it to eat skanks.
Dragons are expensive to ship. How about a Dragon Fly? Would that be ok?
Good idea, Trey. We've got skanks in abundance.
I dunno, RP. A dragon fly might not have the same ... impact. We are trying to discourage a government entity here.