What will the new Pope be like? I was listening to NPR* this morning and one of the talking heads was saying he wouldn't be surprised if the new Pope was younger and more energetic. I thought "I sure as hell hope so, buddy. You can't get a whole lot older or less energetic than the dead Pope". Then I realized he meant like overall. He's expecting a younger, more vibrant, hipper Pope.
Maybe a Pope that does a little pop and lock up on the Pope balcony. You know - a little entertainment for the masses. Or for the Mass, depending on your point of view. Maybe a bit of karaoke. Hell, it's got to be one huge temptation to be up there at the Popepodium with thousands of people assembled in the courtyard every day and not occasionally break into Unchain My Heart.
Or maybe, just maybe (my heart trembles at the thought), a kick-boxing Pope. THAT is what the Catholic church really needs. Nobody is going to call the Mother Church old, tired and stodgy with a kick-boxing Pope at the helm. A kick-boxing ninja Pope.
How freaking cool would that be, eh? You'd have young toughs lining up around the block to convert to an ass kicking religion like that. And just think about how this would let the Catholics compete in the Asian markets. What Buddhist monk could stand up to the force of the kick-boxing ninja Pope? Or better yet, a kick-boxing ninja RoboPope!
Yeah, that would be tooooo sweet!
Sometimes NPR actually has some good shit on it.
Great idea, man. I want a Pope who has mastered "Drunken Monkey" and "Shaolin White Crane" styles.
It wouldn't hurt if he was proficient with a three section staff as well.
I'm sensing a theme on all of today's posts here. What is it, I wonder? What do all of these things have in common?
Are they all brought to us by the letter "M"? The number "9"? A Maria-lovin' Mr. Hooper?
Stumped. Just stumped.
Except for all of the guys in the running are 60+. How in the world are you going to find a younger, hipper pope in that crowd? AND I couldn't believe it when they said that the voting bishops had to be under 80 to vote for the pope... why is that??? I am thinking age discrimination.
hehe...funny stuff.
He should be called Ringo George...
I want to take this opportunity to announce my candidacy for the Papacy. I am all those things Jim described, except for the Robo part. But that is actually in the plan, you know, part of my platform. So, in fifteen days, vote Shank for Pope. Huzzah!
Back away from the crack pipe Jim! Its till the Catholic church, remember? They still want you to be procreating uncontrollably while avoiding invitro fertilization.