With the Terry Shiavo thing so prevalent in the news and on everybody's lips living wills are getting some well deserved attention. All over the blogosphere you see people posting their digital equivalent. The three most common sentiments are:
- I want to live, no matter what, as long as possible.
- I don't want to live like a vegetable, no matter what, do me in please.
- I don't want to live like a vegetable but for the love of all that's holy please don't starve me to death.
My choice is none of the above. Here, I'll make it official:
I, James Peacock, being of (reasonably) sound mind and (for the most part) sound body do hereby solemnly swear and affirm that in the event my mental faculties are reduced to the point where I can be out-thought by a toaster that I officially do not give a damn what you do with my semi to fully mentally vacant meat puppet. It's up to you. If I am a financial burden and am holding back your life then do me in without regrets. If it is a comfort to you to have my non-sentient living corpse lying about then by all means keep me going. If you can make some cash by decorating me with sparkles and posing me in compromising positions with various woodland animals then have at it.
Seriously. Whatever will make the lives of my survivors better, no matter what that is, you have my permission to do it.
Now, to avoid the possibility of a repeat of the Shiavo/Schindler feud I'll take care of any possible disagreements right off the bat: In the event that my survivors disagree on what to do with me, whoever has the least permanent plan wins. So if one relative wants to inject me with morphine until I expire and another wants to pose me on their mantelpiece, the poser wins. Simple enough, right?
I think that covers everything. Carry on.
I think you need to be more precise. Toasters are getting very advanced these days and, well, I don't want to say it outright, that a toaster might out think you, but. . . Otherwise, very clear!
My wife and I have been talking about this, too. It is a scary thing to contemplate.
How about a blender? They're not very smart....
I don't know about that. There's a blender in Elmo's World that talks and everything. Blenders are pretty sharp.
Ummmm... how about a hair dryer then?
That might work. It would have to be a hand-held though. Some of those new floor models are programmable.
What? Like guys aren't supposed to know about hairdressing products? Back off. It's a hobby, not a lifestyle.
See....just when i needed a good laugh, i come here and find you making light of a very serious subject. You should be ashamed of yourself. More please. :-D
Btw...can I have your clock when you croak?
Yes, but what if one person wanted to set you up on the mantlepiece, and I wanted to set you up in the middle of the desert with a sign that read: YOU ARE HERE! and a WORLD'S BEST BLOGGER t-shirt written in neon green.
(I do need to release a little.)
Pam - You can have my clock when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. In other words, sure, it's yours.
Rachel Ann - The mantlepiece hanger would win that one. Better climate means less permanent change to the meat puppet.
Hmph...and I had such high hopes.