Via Harvey I found a tale of frightfully vicious customer service at Lee Ann's View. Lovely Wife recently ran into a customer service nightmare of her own.

We love dollar stores. I'm sure I mentioned it before but the whole family thinks that dollar stores are the cat's tits. Just walking into a retail establishment knowing that you can buy anything that strikes your fancy is a heady feeling for folks like us with limited discretionary income. It's great for the kids too - they know if they walk in with 4 dollars they can get 4 things. Any four things. (Mom and Dad pick up the tax, you see.)

So we make a stop at the dollar store once or twice a month plus anytime we need a gadget or small tool. Our dollar store of preference was the Dollar Tree right around the corner from our last apartment. It's big but not too big, has a fine selection of useless paraphernalia and a friendly staff. We went to that one even though there are bigger ones not much further and similar ones closer to our house.

The Dollar Tree doesn't take credit cards or check cards. We use check cards almost exclusively. It is a very rare occurrence for us to have any actual cash on hand. For the Dollar Tree we use actual paper checks as that is their only non-cash option. Because we use check cards for just about all purchases and pay most of our bills online we go through actual paper checks very, very slowly. We still had several books left when we moved to our new house. I printed out address labels and we affix these over the old address on the checks when we use them. Hey, I'm a cheap bastard. No way am I ordering new checks when I have perfectly legal ones left. What else would you expect from somebody who shops at the Dollar Tree?

Anyway, we've been using these checks with the address labels for every stop at the Dollar Tree since we moved. That's probably a dozen or so shopping expeditions over the past half year. Lovely Wife took the boys there on Monday and ran afoul of a Meaningless Policy Nazi (aka Store Manager). It went something like this:

[Lovely Wife and the boys do their dollar shopping and go to the counter to check out. Everybody has something they are intimately in love with; Bacon found some nifty tools, Burger had some toys, Bear had a kick-ass action figure. The friendly cashier rang them up.]

Friendly Cashier (FC): That'll be $12.96 ma'am.

Lovely Wife (LW): [Affixes label to check, fills in check, hands check to Friendly Cashier]

Meaningless Policy Nazi (MPN): [Sees check with address label] We can't accept that.

LW: The check? Why not?

MPN: We don't accept checks with stickers on them.

LW: It's just so you have the correct address information.

MPN: We can't take it. The correct address has to be imprinted on the check.

LW: Why? What's wrong with the correct address being stuck there on a label? You verify it with my driver's license.

MPN: It's our policy.

LW: Since when? I've been shopping here for years. I've been using labeled checks since we moved to our new house.

MPN: Not since I've been manager you haven't. We don't accept those checks here.

LW: Then you must have started this job less than two weeks ago since that was the last time I used a check here.

MPN: No, we have never accepted those checks.

LW: Would you like to see the canceled check? I can get it online in seconds. It's an actual picture of the check showing the address label.

MPN: It doesn't matter. We don't accept that check.

LW: Look, the bank doesn't give a bloody damn what address is on a check. The only thing they care about is this string of digits at the bottom - the account and tracking numbers. The address information is for you and you are verifying it with your very own eyes. What is the problem with a label?

MPN: It's our policy. It doesn't matter what the bank wants, we must have the correct address imprinted on the check.

LW: Can you give me any reason whatsoever why you wouldn't accept this check except for this arbitrary policy?

MPN: I don't set the policies. I enforce them.

LW: Could you show me this policy?

MPN: No. [Turns away and busies herself arranging goods on the shelf behind the register, refuses to acknowledge Lovely Wife further.]

FC: I'm very sorry ma'am but I guess I can't take it. I could get fired if I did. Can you pay cash?

LW: No, I don't carry cash, that's why I brought the checkbook with me. Even if I did have cash I wouldn't be spending it here now.

FC: Yeah, I understand.

So Lovely Wife left the Dollar Tree sans purchases. Burger was crying his eyes out because he couldn't buy his toys. The other two were in various states of misery. We tried to find a source of authority or ownership for the store but were unable to. We don't want to bother writing a letter as it's almost a guarantee that the store manager Meaningless Policy Nazi will get it first and there's no way in the world she would pass it to her boss.

One thing is very sure - We will never give them our money again. Take a little person with a little power, give them a chance to use it. Add in a complete lack of any desire for the employer to make money and obliterate any common sense. The result is a Meaningless Policy Nazi who is more than happy to drive away customers in exchange for a short ride on a power trip.