February 01, 2005
Dinner conversation
(Category:
Snooze Button Dreams
)
Lovely Wife: I know why I felt so sick yesterday. I think I'm getting my period.Me: You should quit that. They're really gross.
Bear: I've got my period too!
Lovely Wife: You do?
Bear: Yeah, right now.
Me: Are you flowing like a river?
Bear: No.
Me: Well that's good anyway.
Lovely Wife: Stop teasing him. He doesn't know what a period is.
Bear: Then what is a period?
Lovely Wife: It's a dot that goes at the end of a sentence.
Me: Or the sanguineous discharge of the lining of the placenta.
Lovely Wife: Is not!
Me: Oh, right. I mis-spoke. It's the uterus, not the placenta.
Bear: That's gross.
Me: That's what I've been trying to say!
Bear has a playdate today. I wonder how that's going...
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"Are you flowing like a river?"
I am relieved to note that men do actually know and use this term, and not just in reference to the Mississippi.
Evil. Eeeevil. Pure evil. Sending him out on a play date with that kind of information.
Report back, please, on the shock and horror his new information causes at said play date!
The only period I care to here about is the one at the end of the sentence. And if a discharge is involved, it better be honorable or dishonorable, or else my fingers go in my ears and I start singing LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!
I believe Jeff Foxworthy once said something similar to the above...
You do realize that one day this entire exchange is going to come back and bite you. Oh yes, my friend... oh yes it will... :) I can't wait for the post when it does. Grandma, Grandpa, his teacher... oh it is but a mystery who it will occur in front of, but I am thinking teacher. Heh.
Interesting. I usually describe it as "the ripping of the uterine wall into a gush of blood." Might have to try this new tack.
Boudicca makes an excellent point. Blog that when it happens, please.
I linked this. Good Lord, Jim. You crack me up.