I know that you are efficiency minded but sometimes corners should not be cut and procedures should not be rushed. This could be for any number of reasons including quality, performance or, in this particular case, etiquette.
What I am specifically referring to is your behavior in the men's room this morning. You may recall that when you entered said bathroom I was already occupying the first urinal. You quickly analyzed the situation and correctly (according to the tenets of the Big Book of Men's Room Etiquette) proceeded to the last urinal. My concern is with your actions while traveling to your post.
It was particularly unnerving to be in the semi-compromised position mandated when urinating to hear your zipper open when you were directly behind me. Furthermore your motions and mannerisms, as well as your speed off the blocks, showed that you had already taken the tool in hand before arriving at your destination.
To reiterate, these two actions (unzipping behind another man and walking through the bathroom with your cock in hand) are both egregious violations of the BBMRE. I trust that merely bringing these errors to your attention will suffice to correct these deficiencies but I must warn you that I am prepared to retaliate if this behavior continues. I have homemade pea soup in storage and I am not afraid to use it.
Regards,
Jim Peacock
You're giving him a written warning?
You're getting soft in your old age, Jim.
Come now Harvey. You know that it is the anticipation of retaliation, not the retaliation itself, which most strikes fear in the hearts of evil doers.
Sometimes I am just really really glad I'm a woman...
I say let slip the peas of war!!!
I've said this before to myself, but this time I mean it: Jim, this is the LAST time I read your blog while on a conference call!!! Trying to pretend that I had coffee go down the wrong pipe gets old, you know?
"Furthermore your motions and mannerisms, as well as your speed off the blocks, showed that you had already taken the tool in hand before arriving at your destination."
That's a fine piece of business writing, Jim.
If I heard a zipper open behind me in that situation I think I would have turned around and sprayed the bastard, nonchallantly. You know...let him know that kind of shit's not right.
Jim, you never read the appendices in the BBMRE. It's obvious to me this man was micro-seconds away from pissing in his pants ("your motions and mannerisms, as well as your speed off the blocks"). It's happened to you, admit it: You have to go, bad, but you're stuck in traffic. As you get closer and closer to home, the need arises more and more; as you park the car, you're all but dancing in your seat. As your hand fumbles with the door key, you find you have to pinch that puppy closed, and (provided there are no children present) you, too, have unzipped in the hallway during the mad dash to the porcelain convenience.
Dude, when a man has to go a man has to go, and that man had to go! Cut him some slack, bro!
Yes, Victor, I've been there before but never in this bathroom. You see I am on the 2nd floor and the only way up is on an elevator. That elevator is right next to a bathroom.
No, if his need was so urgent upon arriving at work he would have taken care of business before waiting for an elevator.
Also, he was unencumbered by coffee cup, lunch or briefcase. The traffic induced bladder emergency exemption just won't work here.
Ah, with more details we begin to see more and more of the picture. So the bathroom is located next to the elevator on the first floor? Our building is laid out in similar fashion (the johns are near the elevators) except for the first floor.
I must say, tho: While the time of day adds support to your side, your noticing of details shows you, yourself, violate one of the Rules of Men's Room Etiquette: No checking out other guys while in the can.
It was a fear reaction. In the moment of decision of the fight or flight response you have amazing clarity.
Hmph. Men! :)
I am with Boudicca here; so glad that my anatomy has required more priavate accomadations all around.
Hmm, perhaps America should have family type bathrooms. In Ulpan, and in a few other places, there are bathrooms where the toilets are enclosed completely by the stalls, and the sinks are outside. It took awhile to get use to seeing a guy come out of one stall, but it wasn't really inconvienent and posed no real problems at all.
We HAVE family bathrooms here in America!
Its awefull.......two men and their combined four sons pissing in the sink while mom took the seat.......wonderfull!LOL
In the moment of decision of the fight or flight response you have amazing clarity.
Excellent point. Thanks for...clarifying...