There were a lot of excellent captions submitted. The first place entry gets 5 Snooze Points, the second place one gets 3 and the third gets 1. There were also a lot of crappy entries but don't worry - I won't take any points away.

Winner
"Amazing new ironing board allows women to simultaneously iron, rub pussy." - Rube

Second Place
"Ever the thrifty spender, Jim has discovered a new way to get LW that black fur shoal she always wanted. The neighbor will never miss the cat anyway." - Clancy

Third Place
"Ironing bored." - Tiffani