Damn, do I smell good today. I'm not talking just a little good. I mean I smell freaking good. I am seriously afraid to go near any of my female coworkers for fear that they might not be able to control their baser instincts and I can't afford any more torn clothing.
Yeah, that's how good I smell.
I think a little background is in order. Two things I'll never compromise on are toilet paper and my bath bar. I want a TP that is strong and soft and can quickly and efficiently scrape the shit from by butt crack but do it with the softness of a newly slaughtered baby bunny rabbit. My bath bar must leave my skin in a non-dry state and have me not smelling like a flower or a chemical.
This morning my toilet paper did its usual effective job, leaving my dark crevasse in pristine condition. My bath bar, which normally merely cleanses and refreshes me, has uncharacteristically turned me into an olfactory delight. You see, I normally use Dove soap but today I used something quite different. Today I used Opium For Men.
The beautiful, talented and exceptionally naughty Anna (of Primal Purge fame) sent the Lovely Wife and I some handmade Creekside Soaps. The first thing that I noticed was the smell. Damn, do they smell good. I was tempted to nosh a bit on the Oatmeal, Milk & Honey bar. The second thing I noticed was that it was going to be hard to actually use them. They look like little works of art.
You might have realized at this point that I do not have a lot of experience with high end bath products.
Anyway, I opened the Opium this morning and used it for shampoo and soap (they're multi-purpose). I skipped the conditioner so I could see what just the Creekside does for the hair. It's four and a half hours post-shower and it's looking like I'm not going to need conditioner while I use this stuff. Nice.
I actually used a poof to wash with. Lovely Wife has had a couple hanging in my shower but I generally prefer to just rub the bar of glistening soap all over my wet naked body (even the butt crack). I used it today because it seemed somehow profane to not use a washing device. This soap was above my station, so to speak, and would not have appreciated being placed directly on my peasant skin.
It has wonderful, rich lather. The scent is heavenly, even when mostly asleep in the shower*. It rinsed clean and left my skin feeling like it had been caressed. Or maybe that was me...sometimes I just can't keep my own hands off myself. I am that hot.
So if you are in the market for some excellent soap, go visit Creekside. Anna also does lotions and DogPoo**.
I just realized I've written advertising copy. How about that...a product so good it has me doing spontaneous ads. I guess somebody has to since she doesn't even advertise it on her own blog.
The price is nice too, by the way. Just a couplefew bucks a bar.
* Let me clarify why the scent is so important. I hate overpowering smells. I haven't used cologne more than a dozen times in the past 3 years because the only cologne I've ever found that I like isn't available any more and my bottle is almost empty. Generally speaking, somebody has to die for me to use my cologne.
** Shampoo for dogs. The DogPoo that is, not the lotion. Look, it's perfectly simple. The lotion is lotion and the DogPoo is dog shampoo. Dog(sham)poo, get it? Okay then. Carry on.
POINTS: 2 points for the first person to name my inspiration for the title to this post. No searching, please.
my fair lady?
Nope, but you're on the right track. It was a musical.
I feel pretty, oh so pretty. westside story
additionally, you're kind of homo-esque with the whole using the poof, conditioner, and high-end bath products in general. Call me a crusty man's man, but whatever happened to guys being okay with being guys. I blame the Fab Five and the metrosexual fad for making dudes feel like they gotta smell like chicks.
damn...damn...damn...
Man, what an endorsement. Thank you. And also, you're very much welcome. It's a hobby that's slowly morphed into something much bigger than I imagined. Now that it's caressing the ass cracks of my favorite people, I am all the more satisfied. Enjoy.
I RAN here as fast as my keyboard would carry me but dammit...I'm late!
I would have gotten it right because I am the show tune queen, baby!
Oh and I am so totally going to buy some of that soap. The next best thing to having J-Snooze is making my own man smell like him!
I love West Side Story. First performed, by the way, at Brandeis University in Waltham, MA when Leonard Bernstein was head of the music department there.
My wife works in the field of personal care products. I can relate, even if I don't partake myself.
Shank - Correct! 2 points to you. But hold on one second...you got the musical trivia right and I'm homoesque for using something that a gorgeous California blond sent me? Hmmm...
hey, in my defense:
The only reason I know that song is because my roommate has 'Anger Management' on DVD. I watched it this weekend , and there's a few scenes where Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson sing that very same song to help calm themselves down.
"...I feel pretty...Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight..." I'm not even sure if that's how it goes. See the movie, it's funny. At least I don't use a poof. right?
Hey, it's not like I'm using a louffa or something like that. I would have used a washcloth but I don't know that we even have any.
Trust me Jim...you do own wash cloths.
Ask your wife! ;)
Opium for Men? They make a soap that smells like that? And it . . . works?
Ooh, guess what I'm placing an order for. I've been trying to get him to give up Irish Spring for ages anyhow.
What was the favorite cologne they don't make anymore? I found a place on the 'net that still (well, as of a year ago) sells one of mine that no one else seems to carry anymore, so you do a little hunting, you never know what you'll turn up.
As for this:
you're kind of homo-esque with the whole using the poof, conditioner, and high-end bath products in general
I'm sure Jim will remember that while the women in his office are ripping his clothes off and his Lovely Wife is totally going kung fu on 'em for doing so, dude.
Yup, Anna's got Opium for Men and Obsession for Women. Gotta get Lovely Wife some of that. Rowr!
The favorite cologne I was talking about is Lagerfeld. The only Lagerfeld I've found in the past 3 years is the deodorant.
My soap suggestion - Tea Tree Soap by Paul Mitchell. Also see: Shampoo and Conditional
Link Below:
http://www.paulmitchell.com/site/subpage.asp?section=2,10
Oh. By the way. I'm nominating Jim for Metrosexual Man of the Year.
Can't do it, Pylorns. I can't buy anything that's hawked at SuperCuts. It goes against my natural resistance to faux trendy.
"Metrosexual Man of the Year"? Because of the soap or the soft toilet paper? In either case I shall have to write more about my buttcrack to compensate.
Lagerfield? I make it. Hugo Boss? I make it. Just about any designer fragrance I can turn into soap. And it will be alcohol free.
Did someone even seriously recommend Paul Mitchell in this thread?
Paul Mitchell contains Sodium Laureth Sulfate as does most all commercial soaps and shampoos.
It's detergent. It's garbage. It's drying and harsh. Look in your bathroom cabinets. It's everywhere.
http://www.safe2use.com/data/sls-sles.htm
But don't take one report's word. Throw that chemical into a Yahoo! search and see what you find. shudder
Thanks for the tip on Creekside - that's why I frequent this blog... lots of good stuff to check out
I cannot be reading about your buttcrack and toilet paper habbits over my lunch hour. That's now one wasted sandwich and an image I can never get rid of...my eyeballs are still burning. Does Anna make anything for that?
Um...she does make soothing lotions. Would that help?
Hey, Shank. . Jim's a MANLY MAN. And you know what else?
Men who SMELL GOOD GET LAID.
Just sayin'.
As for the title -- um. . .I hate to be difficult but isn't that from "Pygmalion/My Fair Lady?"
I distinctly remember Audrey Hepburn singing that song. And I love Audrey.
I'm going now. . .
Love,
Em
Sorry, Em. It was definitely Westside Story. Perhaps you're transposing Natalie Wood and Audrey Hepburn?
You're right. *sigh* Not even the same category of woman, but I must have confused the two. Ah well.
As for the rest of my comment: it stands.
Lagerfeld. Mmm. Nice memories attached to that scent. (heh)