Moderator: First Candidate, allegations have been raised that in your youth you behaved in an erratic, some might say "youthful" manner. Please respond.

First Candidate: I'm so glad you brought that up, Moderator. Youth today is in crisis. If elected president I will see to it that the problems with today's youth are thoroughly investigated and addressed to the satisfaction of everybody and their mother.

Moderator: Other Candidate, your detractors blame the recent increase in inflation on the massive government spending plans you have initiated. How do you reply?

Other Candidate: I've been waiting for the chance to address that exact question. A tax return is just that - a return of tax money to the taxpayers. We should not be taking more money that we need to and if we do, we need to give that money back. That's why I am pledging to pursue a taxation plan that more closely matches our actual budgetary needs.

Moderator: Flying Pig Candidate, you are a relative unknown in this race. We're not sure exactly how you made it into the debates at all, seeing as you're basically a political nonentity. Do you have any qualification for the office?

Flying Pig Candidate: I can answer a question. I can stand here, listen to the words coming out of your mouth, form a reply in my mind that adequately addresses the concerns you have raised and then form words to that effect.

Moderator: First Candidate, there is some question on your committment to ... hold on a moment here. Flying Pig Candidate, did you just reply to my question with an answer to the actual question that I asked?

Flying Pig Candidate: Why yes. Yes I did.

Moderator: And did you just reply to a yes or no question with a yes or no?

Flying Pig Candidate: Yes, I did do that. Here, I've just done it again.

Moderator: Extraordinary...

Flying Pig Candidate: Indeed.