This one transcends stupid, blows right past inane and lodges firmly inside rectal oddity. (That means it's a piece of crap.)

Life is like riding a bicycle. You only fall off if you stop peddling.

Where to begin? First, everybody knows by now that any simile of life will be compared to "life is like a box of chocolates" and if it can't stand up against that Gumpism then it should not be used.

Second, there are shitloads of ways to fall off of a bike even if you keep pedaling. You could get pushed. You might hit a stop sign or a utility pole. You might get creamed by a semi. You might just run into a bit of tightly strung piano wire across your path. Hey, it happens. Thusly the simile fails right at that point but we'll not stop there as it also fails on the other side of the equation.

Thirdly, any moron can stop peddling without falling off of their bike. It's called putting your foot down. It's the normal and accepted manner of stopping a bike. It's instinctive. Or how about coasting? If you are at speed, going downhill or maybe trying to not go faster (anybody ever hear of braking?) you most definitely are not pedaling and yet, surprise of surprises, you are generally not falling off of the bike.

Fourthly, what the fuck is falling off of your life? Yeah, simile isn't supposed to be a literal transitive but I can't even figure out a metaphorical one for this winner.

We've got guests in this week. I am so freaking embarrassed for my company.