DATELINE - Atlanta

Trey Givens has become the first 2004 Presidential candidate to specifically declare his running mate. In the context of this news the word "mate" should be interpreted as "companion" and not "companion, know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge".

In a move that may have global implications the avowed libertarian has taken part time antidisestablishmentarianist Jim "Snoozey" Peacock onto his ticket. Givens explained his choice thusly: "Jim is a reasonable and even-handed person. He’s not likely to call you names like I would."

When reached this morning for comment Mr.Peacock confirmed that he had gladly accepted the offer and was "looking forward to the challenge" that they will face in this election. In popular polling given choices of Trey Givens, George Bush, and John Kerry, Givens came in behind the Republican and Democratic candidates. Jim Peacock aims "to change that". Strong words indeed.

Miscellaneous talking heads that only surface from their government pork fed think tanks for one of every four years like salmon returning to the fetid waters that birthed them were quick to comment. Said one "This choice will serve Givens well. 'The Snooze' is a married man with children and his inclusion will make Givens a more attractive choice for center-right voters. They will see Peacock's heterosexuality as a check against Givens' gay powers and will be more comfortable voting for him."

Another commented that "This may turn around and bite Trey in the ass. And not in the good way either! A lot of his homosexual voter base was hoping he would run with the Good Doctor. They're just such a cute couple. Seriously!"

Time, and massive advertising budgets, will tell how the Givens/Peacock ticket fares.