Lovely Wife will be going on hens' night this Saturday, leaving me all alone and at the mercy of the three spawn boys. This is cool for a couple of reasons.
First, she gets out and away from the kids to bleed off some of that accumulated kid rearin' pressure. Sure our kids are an unbearable trial great but she's got at least one of them 24 x 7 except for the rare occasions when she runs out to the store when I'm home. This lets her relax so the chance that she'll snap and just de-skin one of the buggers is dramatically reduced.
Second, she comes back with cool stories. Like the older lady that was trying to pick up The Godfather (part 1) when he was visiting from The Netherlands. Or the time she got touched by Bill Gentry (while she was wearing her galpal's shirt so she can't possibly give that shirt back now). Or even the infamous Purple Velvet Cowboy. Yes, an actual human type person went to a night club in a metropolitan area dressed in a purple velvet cowboy outfit. You just can't get stuff like this from a night at home.
Third, and most importantly, I get to watch movies. Don't get me wrong, we do watch movies together as well. It's just that those movies are ones that only she likes we both like. Ones from the Lifetime Network or Oxygen or The Oprah Channel or like The Usual Suspects or From Dusk Til Dawn. Pretty much anything that makes a temporary vagina grow on male viewers or ones that are mob, true crime or vampire related but not a lot else. Specifically, no sci-fi or fantasy or general horror.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to suggest movies for me to watch this Saturday evening. They should be very good ones that are available now on DVD and for the love of GOD, no chick flicks. They don't have to be recent ones - I sure haven't seen everything.
POINTS: Why the heck not? Five points if I end up watching the movie you suggest. Points awarded to the first suggester only.
I'd suggest Intolerable Cruelty. It is a Cohen brothers movie so the humor is a little ... quirky, but Clooney is funny, and Catherine Zeta-Jones is HOT-HOT-HOT. My eyes were drawn to her in every scene.
My suggestion is Very Bad Things. With Christian Slater, Cameron Diaz and a bunch of other great actors but I don't know their names. Great movie.
Warning: Not for kids
It may seem really shallow but both P and I really enjoyed Bulletproof Monk. Sure, its goofy but the action is good and any movie with Stifler in it is going to be funny.
Or Rabbitproof Fence (though Lovely Wife might also enjoy that as well).
I've heard good things about Intolerable Cruelty and I can wholeheartedly NOT recommend DareDevil which should have been named SuckDevil. Without Jennifer Garner, the movie had nothing. With her, it was barely watchable.
Daredevil is on my list of movies to never watch. In fact let's go ahead and put a "No Affleck" rule into effect here.
I enjoyed "Identity" very much despite the occasional gore, and for a mindless boys-have-all-the-fun low-budgetish not-very-good-but-a-great-time-waster, "SWAT". If you're into vampire flicks, "Underworld" was great.
If you'd rather stick to the classics, "What About Bob?" "Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension" and the original of "The In-Laws."
Oh, and there's a really old but great sci-fi/horror/vampire pic called "Lifeforce" if your video store has it...
Thanks Jim. Thanks for helping point out that I’ve become so completely pussified sensitized that I can’t suggest one good DVD movie. Thanks.
I think I’m missing Oprah right now...
On second thought... If you liked the LOTR series, and you think Peter Jackson is/was an awesome movies maker, you HAVE to see “Meet The Feebles.” After 45 minutes or so it looses all of its attraction and actually making it to the end requires a concerted effort that you’ll question later. But you have to see it - If only to understand how far he’s come. And to wonder why anyone would have trusted him to make LOTR.
Please – If you do find/get this, also pick up something you want to see as this is purely a novelty movie and you will hate me if this is all you bring home.
Ooh...Lifeforce. That's one of my favorites. That and The Keep. Both were books that I had read that were made into movies and the movies didn't totally muck it up.
I was thinking Underworld would be a good one but I think Lovely Wife will want to watch that it too. She's got a thing for the vampire movies.
Hey, no problem Clancy. I'm always happy to oblige! Hehe
I haven't seen "Meet The Feebles," but if you haven't seen Peter Jackson's "Heavenly Creatures" or "The Frighteners," heck you should grab them both and make it a double-feature.
(His "Brain Dead" is also wonderful but not as good as those two.)
The Bourne Identity
Flash Gordon
The Fifth Element
"The One" with Jet Li (The MAN!!!!!) has some of the best fight scenes ever and groovy scifi as well.
Me, Myself,and Irene...in my top ten funniest ever list
Reign of Fire- yeah lots of inconsistencies and writer had NO CLUE about dragon mythology...but DAYAMMN is Matthew McConaughey fine with all them muscles just a-bulging (wiping drool)
Anything directed by Terry Gilliam
Terminator 3 was actually pretty good
The man who would be King (Sean Connery and Michael Caine)
Minority Report
What if Icome home early?So lets not get carried away here,huh?
:-))
Also...I wouldn't mind seeing a picture of Billy boy here.Copyright's on me,I stole them all anyways.
:-)))
ANY woman that hangs out in the ATL area....you MUST go and SEE (and listen,too).
I know a movie....Beloved....hahaha
I second Christine's suggestions of the Fifth Element and Minority Report.
Yowsa. Going to take a while to get through Christine's...
Bulging McConaughey? Strangely enough I'm not moved. Flash and 5th Element both done. Same feelings for Me, Myself & Irene. Minority Report was decent...hmmm...T3...that's a definite possibility. Never did get around to catching that one.
Don't worry, Lovely Wife. It'll just be one or two movies and if you get home too early you can watch something in the bedroom.
Funnily enough I have exactly the same experience when Mrs M is out for a night or weekend. Except pizza tends to creep in there too.
Lost in Translation is good - Bill Murray doing funny in a good way for change.
Master and Commander
21 Grams
Electric Blue #47 - an oldie but a goodie and a fav from...oops. Suppose I'd better scratch Night Moves and the Emmanuelle collection too.
Beloved - there's a movie for you!!!
I mountain bike a lot where that movie was filmed. For the longest time, the prop farm house and outbuildings still stood, but they were torn down in the last year or so. I have never seen the movie. Honest.
I sorta saw Master & Commander on an airplane (I watched most of it, but didn't listen). It was OK...
I mentioned Beloved already,no response.
It SUX...btw.
I'm still astounded that we didn't shut that movie off. Beloved is one of the lousiest movies I've ever seen.
lousiest ever? That would have to be 'The Toxic Avenger." "Meet the Feebles" might be considered extremely lousy if not for some weird quality that actually makes it cool (though still really bad)...
Eraserhead... but you'll have to smoke about a half a bag of pot first or it won't make any sense.
Movie night was a blast. Thanks to Helen and Christine, the lovely ladies who provided and/or suggested the entertainment for the evening. Something like a movie review / follow-up is here.
DVD to Pocket PC