Arleen Mathers (23) got a tad angry when her boyfriend Brad Pulaski (27) erased her pirated stash of songs off her iPod. So mad that she beat him to death with the violated MP3 player.

According to law officers, Mathers was hysterical when police arrived and told them that she killed her boyfriend only after he accused her of illegally downloading music and erased about 2,000 of her MP3s. Mathers complained that it took 3 months to build her music collection.

See? Those people who download pirated music really are criminals!

According to Apple’s website, the iPod is partially made of a hard metal plate that’s been praised for it’s resistance to regular wear and tear, like drops and coffee spills.

Drops of blood and brain matter? I wonder how well the iPod worked after this. Did this count as inappropriate use and void the warranty? Inquiring minds want to know.

“It took him a while to die,” Dr. Klamut said. “She must have stabbed him 40 to 80 times with that iPod. His death was not instantaneous, that’s for sure”.

This is why I stay very far away from Lovely Wife's MP3 player and never so much as click near one of her files or folders. Safety first, know what I mean?

(Disclaimer - Don't bitch at me, I know it's a horrible thing that happened and a life has been lost and another effectively ended. It's also highly ironic and odd and I'm not going to be the first or last person to poke fun at it. In the words of somebody more famous than you: We laugh at the absurd and the morbid for our only other options are anger and tears.)