Update: Results in the extended entry

Want to know what it's about? See the Shamming/Sharing intro post.

Our fourth offering. Is this anecdote the truth or am I pulling your leg (or other body part of your choice)?

What could be more fun than a circus? To me in my youth, just about anything. I didn't see my first circus until I was two weeks shy of 12. The only reason I remember that so precisely is because during most of the circus that's what I was thinking about to prevent yawning, plus right after the circus we went to Toys "backwards R" Us to look for presents for me (of course that's not what Mom said but you aren't fooling a 12 year old 2 weeks before his birthday - if we're in Toys "backwards R" Us it's 'cause you want to know what to buy for me) and this was the year that I got a guitar and a machete* so it sticks out in my young memory.

Anyway, the circus wasn't a bad one by any stretch. I don't think it was Ringling Bros but it was another of the bigger ones. Huge midtop, lots of concessions, games, carnies all over the place, clowns, pony rides and such. We pretty much breezed past all of the outside attractions and into the big tent. The only specific memory I have from the rush into the show was a midget riding a gigantic red dog and my little brother (he would have been 4 then) yelling out "Clifford! Clifford!" No, I'm not saying the dog was the size of Clifford. He was a mastiff or great dane or something - just really, really big. And dyed red.

So we rushed into the big tent and got seats and we were all tense with excitement. You see, Mom had been building this up for us for months. Telling us about the lion tamers and the acrobats and the clowns in tiny cars and the Lipinzaner stallions (no idea if I spelled that anything close to correctly) and singing this circus/parade song every five minutes. How did that song go? Something like "seventy six trombones in the big parade / a hundredy five coronets came behind". And when the performance actually started we were on the very edge of our seats, just breathless with anticipation.

And it sucked. Big time. I couldn't understand a single thing that the ringmaster was saying. The gymnasts were just doing stuff I'd seen all the time on TV (and was bored of watching there). There was a highwire but the guy just casually walked across the wire. With a net underneath him. The clowns were okay but that just looked like so much chaos since we couldn't understand a thing the MC was saying. The lion tamer beat the hell out of some lions and made them do tricks. He pissed me off. I wanted the lions to just gang up on him and take him down. The stallions looked filthy and sad to me. Where were the bright white regal beasts I was expecting?

One disappointment after another was piled on my youthful shoulders until I gave up trying to be entertained and just started thinking about my upcoming birthday. Just two weeks, two weeks, two weeks to muh birfday! I sang that song in my head for what seemed like hours but was probably more like 30 minutes. But at least it helped me to remember the date that I first saw a circus.

I like circuses now. I guess my disappointing first experience was due partially to the hysterical hype level my mom gave it, partially because I really didnt' have a concept of just how freaking difficult a lot of the things I was seeing actually were and partially because I was functioning with half a brain as the other half was totally preoccupied with my upcoming birthday.

* No, my parents wouldn't give a real machete to a 12 year old. Well, okay, it was a real machete but it was a steel blank blade (no edge). The cool thing about the machete was the scabbard. Hand tooled leather. My dad had picked it up in Panama earlier in the year. It was hanging up on my various bedroom walls until I was in my late 20's.

Current Shamming/Sharing roster:

2 Correct
jim
Mike the Marine
Sue
Tiffani

1 Correct
MojoMark
Rob
Simon

0 Correct
Everybody else

This was a tall tale. I went to a couple of circuses as a lad but have no specific memories of any of them except for Clifford and his midget. Ilyka, Mitzi, Sue and Mike the Marine got it right.

Hmmm...Only four out of eight got it correct. I must be getting better!

That wraps up the shamming/sharing for February. Final tally is:

3 Correct
Mike the Marine
Sue

2 Correct
jim
Tiffani

1 Correct
Ilyka
Mitzi
MojoMark
Rob
Simon

We've got a tie for first place! Mike and Sue each get 3 points. jim and Tiffani will each get a point for coming in tied for third. Congratulations!

The first sham/share for March will be out some time today. Thanks for playing, y'all!