You remember the Butt Game, right? That's where you call out "Butt" and something that you can see. Whoever gets the most laughs wins. Well, Bear is getting really good at this. The other day we were playing it in the car and he trumped both Lovely Wife and myself with his butt-isms. Some were so good that I couldn't help but wonder why they aren't part of our regular vocabulary. In the interest of expanding the wonder and grace of the English language I present a sample of Buttcabulary.

Buttramp: Sounds naughty doesn't it? This word could be used with hillarious effect as a synonym for "slide".

Buttplate: This is an actual word already but it lends itself to another definition. You know those round plastic sleds that you can't control worth a damn and are designed so you can't sit at the center of gravity so you always end up going down the suicidal hill backwards? Yeah, those are now called buttplates.

Buttbus: "Short bus" has taken on dangerously non-PC tones. We'll call them buttbusses from now on.

Buttpole: Can't really stay away from homosexual references when we're talking about butts, can we?

Buttlight: The doctor uses this during rectal exams.

Buttgrass: This was the winner of our last contest. Isn't this just perfect to describe the muppet like growth that covers some folks backsides or the jungle of hairs pouring out of some butt cracks? Here, let me use it in context for you: "Damn, girl! Mow that buttgrass!"

What Buttcabulary words do you know?