It's been a while since I expressed my appreciation to the homosexual men in the world. Not you bi fellas! Y'all are icky. But gay men? Damn, do we straights owe you guys.

I don't understand why some hetero guys are gay haters. Don't you guys get it? You owe the gay guys a round of thanks too! I see you're confused so I'll take it a step backwards and start with an anecdote.

Iv, our next door neighbor's son, is gay. He's also a smoking hot specimen of male boditude with the sweetest personality you could imagine. He makes Lovely Wife and all of her lady friends weak in the knees. Unappologetically. They brag about it. Hell, if I ever decide to switch teams I am going to be so all over him it'll be pathetic.

Today we saw his new boyfriend for the first time. Iv was over to help his mum and the new beau came with him. New Beau is as hot as he is. And just as nice. Lovely Wife yelled at Iv. "It's not fair! How long are you going to keep taking the hottest guys?" Iv's response? "As long as possible."

Humorous, yes. But don't miss the moral of the story here. The reason we straight guys should be thankful and why no straight guy has any excuse to be a gay hater. TWO GUYS who are complete babe magnets have taken themselves (and each other?) out of the competition! If you are straight and getting laid then you owe Iv and New Beau and Trey and every other gay fella (especially the hot ones) a round of thanks because they are helping you to get laid by increasing your chances of attracting a mate by staying out of the option pool.

So to all of my gay readers, Iv, New Beau, and all of the other gays out there that helped my chances to win Lovely Wife's affection and facilitated my getting laid all these years, thank you from the bottom of my heart (and another organ about a foot and a half south of that).