Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
February 05, 2004
The Butt Game
(Category: Snooze Button Dreams )

The Scene: Dopple-G and I are eating lunch and discussing the 7 year old who was suspended for saying 'hell'.

Dopple-G: You've got to be a little nervous about stuff like this, right? I mean, Bear's about to enter the vaunted public school system.

Me: Yeah, it's a definite concern.

Dopple-G: But he doesn't have a potty mouth, right?

Me: Nah. In fact, he does a good job keeping Lovely Wife and I straight. He does play The Butt Game with me though.

Dopple-G: The But Game?

Me: No. The 'Butt' Game. Butt, as in 'ass'.

Dopple-G: What's The Butt Game?

Me: Sort of like The Dozens, for pre-schoolers. You call each other Butt-something.

Dopple-G: Butt-something?

Me: Yeah. I might call him a Butt Table and then he'll come back by calling me a Butt Chair.

Dopple-G: Those are pretty lame.

Me: Well it's generally 'Butt' plus the next thing that you see.

Dopple-G: You're a Butt Conference Table.

Me: Nope. That would be Butt Table.

Dopple-G: But it's a conference table.

Me: Doesn't matter. Brevity is the goal, you Butt Socket.

Dopple-G: So how would I use this?

Dopple-G points to his plastic microwave oven safe egg poacher.

Me: You can't figure that out? You are such a Butt Poacher.

Dopple-G: Butt Bag!

Me: Better. Not bad for such an amateur Butt Cork.

Dopple-G: Butt Door Knob!

Me: Wrong again, Butt Knob. You're being too verbose. Brevity! I know it's hard for a Butt Stick like you but please try.

Dopple-G: Butt Can!

Me: Nope. No good. Butt can is a real word, you can't use it.

Dopple-G: You're making up rules as we go along!

Me: Don't be such a Butt Monkey. You're the one who started playing before I finished explaining the rules.

Dopple-G: You're such a butt munch.

Me: What's a 'munch' supposed to be? I don't see any 'munches' in here.

Dopple-G: I wasn't playing with that one.

Me: Butt Fork.

Dopple-G: Butt Board.

Me: Butt Plate.

Dopple-G: Butt Switch!

Me: Butt Face!

Dopple-G: Butt Head!

The contestants pause and share a look.

Both: Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.

Me: Alright, we'll call it a draw.

Posted by Jim | Permalink
Comments

i realize the new templates been up for a while now, but i just wanted to say how excited i am you picked this one. i was secretly hoping you would back when you had all three up to choose from. Yay! :)

Posted by: jay at February 5, 2004 11:52 PM

I AM CORHOLIO! I come from Lake Titicaca. My people - they have no bunghole....

ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!? Are you threatening my BUNGHOLIO?!?!

Posted by: Mike the Marine at February 6, 2004 09:02 AM

The Butt game is cool, but not nearly as fun as the faahrt game.

Sheew wee honey, you rotten - I wanna divorce.

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