Baby being Lovely Wife, of course. And puppy being...well...a puppy.

Lovely Wife loves dogs. And cats. And birds. And fish. And hamsters. And turtles. And just about any other pet type creature excepting ferrets. So what better gift could I give her than a puppy? Well, yes, a diamond ring would probably be a better gift but I can't get her the one I want at the moment so that's out. Okay, a new car would indeed be better but you're not thinking of the right class of gift here. Should I rephrase the question? Okay - What better gift could I give her than a puppy, said gift causing little to no strain upon my barren wallet? Nuthin', that's what. Glad you agree.

So Friday eve we went to my coworker's house as she had a litter of puppies hanging about that she is finding homes for. The intent was for Lovely Wife to pick out one of the varmints based on whichever one showed the most interest. This plan did not work out well. Momma Dog and Year Old Dog From Past Litter were all over her. They both have fine taste in women, obviously. But the puppies pretty much ignored her.

They did not ignore me. I'm not sure why but I am a certified puppy magnet. Puppies just flat out dig me. Maybe it's because my natural odor is something like soured milk. Or maybe because my fingers look remarkably like breakfast sausages (links, not patties). But whatever the reason was, they mobbed me for the entire time we were there.

Two of them were specially attentive. One (we'll call her "Red Dog") was a high energy, alpha female type who's objective in our interaction seemed to be to burrow and gnaw through my shirt. Between attempts at this she would run off to one of the big dogs and tackle it or take down one of the children in a high speed assault. The other one (we'll call her "Yellow Dog") sat with me on the fireplace hearth the entire time in an apparent coma except for some half hearted nibbles at my hand whenever I had the affrontery to stop petting her.

At the end of the evening I had to make a choice. High energy, excitable, massive fun Red Dog, or calm, loving, affectionate, semi-comatose Yellow Dog. I was struggling with the decision, wavering between the two. One moment I was sure that Red Dog was the pup for us. The next I was just as certain that Yellow Dog was the right one. Then a vision came to me. Torn curtains. Holes in the rug. Broken bones.

So we took Yellow Dog home. Of course, Yellow Dog isn't her name - that's Kota (short for Dakota). And she's not yellow. Red Dog wasn't red either - all that was just a pop culture reference. She's a warm and lovely chocolatey brown color. This is specially good since she's a chocolate lab.

We are now relearning the joys of puppy pee and poop. That particular puppy odor that permeates the house. Tripping over the small creature that tries with all its might to attach itself to your leg. And don't forget the pocket full of puppy treats in the jacket. But it's all good. Happiness really is a warm puppy.

Hi there! I'm Kota.

UPDATE: By the way, Kota is just shy of 10 weeks old. Her daddy is 100 pounds and her mommy is around 75 pounds. Kota is going to be a big ol' dog.

Points: Looks like I've got two good ones here. 2 points to the first person who identifies my source/inspiration for the title of this post. 1 point to the first person who sources "Red Dog" / "Yellow Dog". No searches please.