Welcome to the 69th edition of the Carnival of the Vanities. Hosting this bear has been quite a fun experience. As I received the entries piecemeal I was actually able to read all of them instead of cherry picking that I usually do. Some are great, some are phenomenal, some I agree with and some I don't. Without a doubt though, they're all quality posts. I've presented them in the order they were received as it turned out to be a pretty nice tour the way they came in. Plus I'm incredibly lazy and that's the easiest way to do it.

Next week's Carny will be held at PoliBlog. Without further ado, here's the Carnival of the Vanities, 69th Edition:

Pixy Misa of Ambient Irony fame explains realism and idealism and why the idealist Old World has such a problem with reality.

The Commissar over at The Politburo Dictat is reading up on tanks and relates Dukakis' horrific tank gaff to the Dean campaign.

Dave from Temperantia R3 is reading The Davinci Code and it's bringing back memories of his own Davinci moments.

Kiril of Sneakeasy's Joint has a primer on illegal immigration. Being married to a foreigner who's here legally I can personally attest to the stress, expense and frustration of going through the proper channels and (as you might expect) I'm pretty pissed about a proposal to legalize coming here illegally.

My offering into the weekly fray is about learning to speak. Kids say the darnest things, don't they?

Aunty Goob of Goobage explains why Killington seceding from Vermont is not only a deadly serious initiative but also a patriotic one.

Mad Kane features my favorite type of political post - a witty one. Sing along to this Unforgettable tune about Dean being electable.

Patterico Pontificates about the LA Times describing a $1.5 billion increase in school funding as a cut in funding. The LA Times is apparently hiring acrobats now because they need some serious gymnastics to pull this one off.

Pieter at Peaktalk has a problem with schoolboards banning snowball fights. As well he should. Such an action is just...unnatural!

Sean Hackbarth at The American Mind give us the first edition of the Dean powered duck hunt, a collection of posts from around the blogosphere that are about the good doctor himself.

Dustin Frelich over at eTalkinghead explains why Hillary deserves a pass for that recent ethnic verbal blunder.

John Ray thinks that Democrats are religion haters and tells us about it at Dissecting Leftism. He also excerpts a Norman Lebrecht article about forced political correctness reaching the orchestras over at PC Watch. Spooky thought there. Do we really need "Audience Development Managers" for our music halls?

Andrew from Dodgeblogium tells us the normal way to write a song. Well, it's the way he wrote a song anyway.

Dan O'Leary of Pragmatic Conservatism (who'll be hosting the Bestofme Symphony in a couple of weeks) has some hillarious and deliciously mean spiritied suggestions on how to dump your lover.

DaGodess weighs in on the media circus that erupted over Steve Irwin taking baby Bob into a croc enclosure. To balance that serious post she gives us a humorous entreaty to send mail after she kills her landlord.

John Moore at Useful Fools makes the case that Saddam might have been telling the truth about Iraq's WMDs. It's a compelling argument.

Tim Dunlop at The Road to Surfdom tells us about the family vacation to New Orleans. The Big Easy has something to offend everyone, and some great music.

The BoiFromTroy gives us some thoughts from the gym about the presidential hopefuls.

Feste at A Fool's Blog reports on the first case of mad cow in Berkeley.

Charles of Dustbury shares the Dennis Kucinich space exploration proposal.

Richard at Looking Back...Looking Forward has a poll for us. What is marriage, anyway?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Harvey at Bad Money knows.

Jack from The People's Republic of Seabrook has prepared some resolutions for his driving in order to preserve his Lovey's sanity. Jack's in Houston but the horrific driving applies to Atlanta too.

Brian Noggle is Musing about what it would be like if software engineers were civil engineers. I found this especially hillarious as I had just rejected a reported software bug when I got Brian's submission.

The SmarterCop tries to beat some sense into a clueless Floridian with his mighty baton of common sense. That beats a cluestick any day.

Justene from Calblog isn't Dean friendly but she defends him when reason demands it.

Susie at Practical Penumbra is setting penance for the Axis of Weasels and some others that need it.

Big Arm Woman from Tightly Wound has a thumbnail guide to the Return of the King. It's a beautiful piece of work. I don't know whether to cry or stab something.

Josh Fielek of Quibbles 'n Bits presents his short story The Last Flight of Time in its entirety. It's quite a page turner, too! Or would that be page scroller?

Jon at Q and O explains why we're going about things bass ackwards in Iraq. Democracies aren't built from the top, they're built from the bottom.

Brian Kelley of Libertyblog weighs in on the institution of marriage.

Mike from Interested Participant is talking about a Catholic bishop in Wisconsin who has forbidden his priests from giving communion to pro-choice politicians.

Kevin at The Smallest Minority (that refers to Gary Coleman, right?) discusses homosexuality. Sometimes your opinions just don't pigeon-hole nicely into the major camps.

After an extended absence, Jay Solo is getting Verbose about the return of the Question Of The Week. Man, I'm embarrassed that I just wrote that. What a twisted and silly sentence. Just go read Jay's post and I'll try to concentrate on better writing for the home stretch here.

Chuck Simmins of You Big Mouth, You! makes some compelling arguments for the Bush illegal immigrant amnesty.

Bill Adams from Idler Yet has figured out the perfect Democratic Vice-President. It's almost spooky how well this guy fits with every Dem candidate.

Steven at PoliBlog has more on the Texas redistricting situation. I sure hope Steven's right about retaliatory re-redistricting.

Red Ted Keeps a Diary and this is a good thing for us as we get treats like his discussion on romance. Ted describes many of the little touches that I use. Who would have thunk that I was a romantic?

Abnu from Wordlab had this last second entry that is just a perfect wrap up for the 69th Carnival of the Vanities. How about a little sex at the office?

UPDATE: Better late than never, Les Jones offers some advice on buying a gun and getting started shootin'.

Well, that's it for this edition of the Carnival. I hope you enjoy the submissions as much as I have. If you're interested in hosting one just let BigWig know.