Mine costs five and a half million.

Mom lives in Arizona. She used to live there with my Auntie and Dopple-G and his sister. I lived with them for a couple of months and visited other times. One of the cool things we would do was to drive up to Tortilla Flat. It was old and small and incredibly cool. The smallest town in America to have a Federal Post Office!

There was a song we made up about Tortilla Flat. Actually I think my cousin started it up (that's Dopple-G's sister, not Dopple-G himself. Let's just call her Dopplette-G to avoid confusion) and the rest of us just might have added bits to it. I can't remember much of it except there was a line about "They've got roaches in the corners" and the refrain was "If you don't know where you're at it's Tortilla Flat". No, there weren't any roaches and I always knew exactly where I was when we were there. There were only a couple of buildings so it was hard to get lost. It was a fun song though.

I remember there being dollars all over the walls and ceiling in the restaurant. It was like wallpaper. Tourists would write their name on a bill and the proprieter would tack it up. And they had the coolest stuff to buy (I was a kid then, remember). Rattlesnake heads, stuffed coyotes, cactuses. I bought an egg (like the pantyhose used to come in) with a pack of seeds in it and a picture of a giant suguaro cactus on it. Grew that thing for years and it got to about 2 inches high. I think I've still got the can of jackalope milk that I bought there too. Probably cheese by now.

We had a lot of fun there. A lot of memories were made. And now they're selling it.

Anybody got a couple million I could borrow?

(Warned of impending sale by this article)