Women Needed to Test Orgasm Machine

No, really. An American surgeon who has patented a device that triggers an orgasm has begun a clinical trial approved by the Food and Drug Administration (news - web sites) in the United States and is looking for female volunteers.

Looking for volunteers? I would have thought he's be running from them. Dr Stuart Meloy thought that would be the case as well.

But so far only one woman has completed the first stage of the trial, with apparently breathtaking results, and a second has agreed to take part.

Breathtaking results? Now that sounds pretty good to me. Where are the volunteers?

Meloy, of Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, is hoping to find eight more volunteers willing to have electrodes inserted in their spine and be connected to a pacemaker-size machine implanted under the skin to heighten their sexual pleasure.

Oh, gotcha. I guess that would turn off a lot of women. Who wants an implant that gives them orgasms after all?

The married woman who tested the machine, dubbed an orgasmatron, had not had an orgasm for four years. But during the nine days she used it, she had several.

"She even told me she had the first multiple orgasm of her life using the device," said Meloy.

When Meloy placed the electrodes into a specific spot on her spine to find nerve bundles carrying pain signals to the brain, she moaned with delight.

"You're going to have to teach my husband how to do that," he quoted her as saying.

The tiny impulses of electricity applied to the electrodes seemed to have turned on the patient's orgasm button.

"Orgasm Button" would be an excellent name for a rock band.

Although some medical experts are sceptical about the procedure and say a vibrator can produce the same results, Meloy believes it could help to improve sexual response in women who cannot have orgasms and might even help men as well.

Hell yeah, it would help men!

Her: Honey, I'm not in the mood.

Him: (touching electrode) Really?

Her: Ride me like a pony! Now!!!

A full implant of the device would cost about 13,000 pounds.

What's that in US dollars? Around $20,000? It's a bargain at twice the price! Now I just have to check my HMO coverage...