Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
November 12, 2003
Time for some wang tag!
(Category: Other People's Stuff )

Ryan has a post worthy of all our fecal praise.

Here's the problem with shuffling up too far on the toilet seat, and this is what I noticed just a short while ago on the crapper. As any veteran male pooper knows, when you clench off a fecal fragment, your wang twitches. Or, maybe it's just me, but whatever. The point is, when I flex the appropriate kegel muscles to pinch off a turdlett, my pecker does a little spasm dance that usually involves brief upward motion.

Cuppa coffee and a poop post. Wednesday is starting very well.

Posted by Jim | Permalink
Comments

Correct me if I'm wrong (cause I'm too damn lazy to look it up), but isn't he talking about the cremasteric reflex there?

Posted by: ilyka at November 12, 2003 10:26 AM

Nope. The cremasteric reflex is the one where the scrotum tightens upon stimulus to the inner thigh.

That's one of my favorites, by the way. In case anybody is taking notes.

Posted by: Jim at November 12, 2003 11:48 AM

See, I knew there was a reason I never applied to medical school.

Now I'm tempted to write a fake letter to Penthouse that works in the phrase "cremasteric reflex" and, so help me, I'm not even really sure why.

I think it's because I'm pretty sure you can't write successful erotic fiction that uses medical terms. It's like this bit from Chris Rock's book:

". . . talking dirty is cool, [but] words like 'penis' and 'vagina' should never come up. I once knew a woman who used to say 'vagina' and think she was talking dirty because she said it LOUD. I used to call her Loud Dirty Girl.

"HER: I feel your PENIS! In my VAGINA!
"ME: Stop it. Stop it! I can't even touch you anymore."

Posted by: ilyka at November 12, 2003 12:08 PM

I can lose a stiffy over "vagina" too. Depending on how it's uttered it can bring up a visual of Oprah and that's just a total mood killer.

Posted by: Jim at November 12, 2003 02:59 PM

I would ask how you wound up subconsciously connecting "Oprah" and "vagina," but then you might tell me.

Posted by: ilyka at November 12, 2003 04:26 PM

It's actually totally innocent. It was a skit on SNL or Mad TV (don't remember which) that had Oprah with some other wimmen talking about their VAGINAS. The one statement that still haunts me is the Oprah character characterizing her vagina as a natural disaster. "My VAGINA is a mudslide."

I still shudder.

Posted by: Jim at November 12, 2003 04:42 PM

If I'm flying high on a good bout of horny, it's not a mood kill when the word vagina is uttered.

However, I've always found the word "cervix" to be a pretty powerful turn-off. Not sure why.

Why are there no songs about the cremasteric reflex? That's a rich lyrical area, I'm telling you.

Posted by: Ryan at November 12, 2003 05:05 PM

Keep it up, Ryan, and Jim'll write one for you. He's tricky like that.

And vaginas and mudslides in the same sentence--well, I have to punt to Newspeak for that one. Doubleplusungood.

Posted by: ilyka at November 12, 2003 05:12 PM
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