France's Filthy Swine and My Arse Go to Eat Onions

"Tired of being sniggered at, people from French villages whose names sound like "Filthy Swine" and "My Arse" plan a weekend get-together in a tiny hamlet whose name means "Eat Onions" in old French.

Quirky French place names are nothing new to some English-speaking tourists who several times a year make off with signposts from the southwestern town of Condom."

These are actually some of the better sounding French villages. Retard-foutu, L'âne-lèchent and Chienne-du-nouvel-os were not invited to this gathering as their village names have such foul meanings.
(Remember our friend Babelfrench.)

No Thongs or Midriffs Please, Say French Schools

"French schools are cracking down on a craze among teenage girls to flash their midriffs and wear skimpy G-strings that peek brazenly out from above their low-cut trousers.

A number of head teachers in France -- where school uniforms are practically unheard of -- have slapped a ban on showing off thongs and tummies, the French daily Le Parisien said on Friday. "In the eyes of boys, thongs reduce girls to bottoms," former junior education minister Segolene Royal said."

Problem here. France has exactly one and only marketable domestic resource - French girls. (Nobody buys their wine anymore.) If they start forcing French girls out of sexy clothing then not even the mighty Chirac could save their faltering economy.

Sick of cigarette warnings? Hide them!

"A French firm has found a way to make money out of the large health warnings now required on new cigarette packs in the European Union (news - web sites) -- selling colourful cases to hide them.

The Paris-based Dolmen has begun selling thin cardboard boxes for smokers to cover cigarette packs which, under an EU rule that came into force on Tuesday, must carry warnings such as "Smoking Kills" on every side."

The French, they prefer death by heat exhaustion. They are very disturbed to have a reminder of how unhealthy cigarettes are every time they reach for a smoke. So, in typical French fashion the solution is obvious. Hide them and they'll go away!