Depending on where you live in the States you probably have a different general opinion of Canada. Down here in the South most people think that Canada is a separate country. Back up in the North, Canada is viewed either as a retarded step child or the largest of the 51 states. This article (link found over at Common Sense & Wonder) points strongly towards either the "retarded step child" theory or the growing "Really North California" theory.

It seems that the Canadian courts ordered that "patients should not be forced to get their marijuana from drug dealers on the streets" so Health Canada (motto "Socialized medicine at its finest!") gave a C$5.75 million (about $4.2 million real dollars) contract to have government weed grown. The problem (assuming our heads are far enough up our rectums not to notice any glaring problems yet) is that the weed blows. Comments from the first users include "Disgusting" and "It's totally unsuitable for human consumption".

The government of Canada spent C$5.75 (The "C" stands for "counterfeit", by the way) million to grow bad weed. How do you grow weed that is that bad? A good start would be to grow it "deep underground in a vacant mine section in Flin Flon, Manitoba". Yes, that's right. They are growing a crop of plants in an abandoned mine. While this might be a reasonable step for somebody trying to grow a cash crop of marijuana in the States, it does not seem quite so intelligent when you note that in this case the crop is not only legal but being grown under a government contract.

Okay, let's get off the idiocy of the farming and concentrate on the basic program. C$5.75 million (at today's exchange rate - tomorrow this could easily be eleventy billion) sounds like a lot, because it is a lot to us rational folk, but it's really not too bad for a government program. After all, this program will serve all of the marijuana using patients in Canada. Or not. Maybe it will only be servicing a handlful of people because only "Ten patients have registered with Health Canada to buy marijuana directly from the government to alleviate their medical symptoms. Another 39 applications are pending."

Yah. 49 people total, including applicants not yet approved, are reaping the benefits of this particular travesty of government idiocy. But they're not really reaping much since the weed is unsuitable for human consumption. A little basic arithmentic shows that the investment per participant is over C$117,346. That's close to 8 times what an average Canadian takes home in a year after taxes. (Note that this last statistic is an estimate. Canadian tax codes are so oppressive confusing that the average Canadian has no idea how much they take home after taxes.)

What's an unsatisfied customer to do? Well, "Wakeford and Barrie Dalley, a 52-year-old Toronto man who uses marijuana to combat the nausea associated with AIDS, are returning their 1-ounce (30-gram) bags, and Dalley is demanding his money back -- about C$150 ($110) plus taxes. Wakeford is returning his unpaid bill for two bags with a written complaint." Unfortunately, according to Health Canada spokeswoman Krista Apse "the department will not accept returns or provide refunds".

As I was a neighbor of Canada for many a year I feel deeply for our northern cousins. I will take it upon myself to solve their weedy woes. I will start a collection and when it reaches $29.99 (that's real currency, not funny money) I will personally send a subscription of High Times to Krista Apse. We'll send the free T-shirt to Jim Wakeford to help take the sting out of blowing his cash on that bad gubmint weed.

Update: I love my current job but if they need some Quality Assurance help up there I might be willing to relocate.