September 18, 2003
Never underestimate the power of poop
(Category:
Other People's Stuff
)
"Upper Decker": (American slang); 1. in the game of baseball, a home run hit into the upper deck of a stadium; any baseball hit into a spectator deck that is elevated above field level. 2. any spectator at a stadium event sitting in the upper deck 3. the practice of defecating in the tank of a toilet rather than the proper receptacle bowl, causing a prolonged offending odor from the unseen excreta.
The day of reckoning arrived without my having decided on whether or not to follow through with it. After consuming a fine breakfast, I drove to the car rental office to return my car before my return flight home. As I came closer to where I was to leave my car, I felt a sense of adventure mount simultaneously with my offending product fermenting and solidifying in my bowels. I felt that fate was giving me a signal, that I was destined to take this important step, to prove I had the nerve and the physical capacity to take this nonviolent direct action. I mentally prepared to start a new nationwide movement (pun intended).
One question: When performing an upper decker you can't flush. What do you do with the toilet paper?
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