Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
April 17, 2009
Bloody Capitalist
(Category: shankonomics )

Sorry about the blog malaise lately. I will tell you though, I have been a busy little bee. I finally quit my stupid, senseless, slog through the corporate maze; and started my own company! Yep.

I kill pirates for a living.

Ever since this whole pirate thing started ramping up, I felt there was a niche market here that wasn't being served. I couldn't quite figure it out, until I read a single line. This single line locked the linchpin in place, and the entire idea appeared before me like one of those pictures you have to cross your eyes to see.

Piracy actually worked until the pirates became to high profile, to demanding and greedy. It was actually cost effective to pay them off and be on your merry way. Not so, anymore. Now the pirates have begun asking more than the trouble they're worth; and the shipping companies are in a pinch. Arming the crew blows the lid off the shipping company's insurance expenses, let alone the cost of training and supplying a crew, or the liabilities of even having arms present on a locked-down facility like a ship at sea.

Then it hit me - as long as the price point was marginally less than the ransom, a shipping company would find it cost effective to hire a security operation to kick some pirate ass on the high seas. So that's what I started doing. I applied for a small business loan and set upon the trail of living the American Dream! The loan covered my startup expenses:

4 36' Long Range Interceptors (for their low displacement, long range, and maneuverability), mounted with fore and aft 7.62mm guns and grenade launchers.

24 Paramilitary crewmen, maritime experience required. Special Forces experience a plus.

The great thing about the lightweight boats is that they could be carried by the ship and deployed as necessary, two per container vessel. This means I've got enough deck and crew to run two contracts simultaneously. Given that our cash flow would be nearly identical to pirate operations, we would be able to easily stay profitable. Future expansion would be based on profitability and demand.

Anyone know a few good men/women? Because Shankwater Worlwide is hiring.
shankwater.bmp

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